Whenever a major holiday rolls around, prisons do what they can to serve the incarcerated population a meal that departs from regular daily fare. Sadly, these holiday meals largely comprise highly processed, tasteless food. And, that’s being kind. According to my ‘amigozo’ Rogelio who is incarcerated in California, this past Thanksgiving the prison didn’t even serve the traditional and long awaited pumpkin pie. Hence, ingenuity and creativity is required in order to come up with satisfying main meal holiday dishes and desserts that far surpass any of the unappetizing fare that the prison serves up.
If you’re at all curious (I was!) as to what a Christmas prison feast looks like, check out Rogelio’s two recipes below. Ingredients used are generally purchased through the quarterly packages via prison approved vendors, such as Walkenhorst , Union Supply Direct and Access Securepak.
I recently received the following from Rogelio:
“I have a hot plate that I secure under my bunk. The bunk is high carbon steel. So, when I plug in the hot plate it heats up the bunk and turns it into a good size grill where I can grill meats, fry rice, make stir fry, as well as warm up tortillas. This Christmas, I plan to make pulled pork with fried rice and bean tacos. I’ll use flour tortillas that I grill. Man, they come out so good”!
“Having a grill is a luxury. I made my own grill from sheer prison ingenuity. My rice turns out really great, too. I make a tasty cheese sauce by mixing nacho cheese, mayonnaise and Sriracha - a thick sweet and hot sauce with a hint of garlic. It’s super yummy! I have all my buddies hooked on my cooking.”
“OK!” “But, the kicker is the pie that I make (Big Smiles). OMG…it's incredibly delicious!” I make the pies in bowls and use iced honey buns to make a soft sweet crust."
"First, I chop up the honey buns into pieces then mold the pieces into the shape of the bowl. After that, I sprinkle some sweet syrup over the soft molded ‘crust’ to ensure that it all sticks together.
While I let that sit, in another bowl I make chocolate icing. I take a few prepackaged chocolate Swiss Rolls and whip them in the bowl. Since the Swiss Rolls have whipped cream in them, if you chop and whip them well by hand, they turn into a yummy gooey icing. Once done, I layer the honey bun crust with my mock chocolate icing.”
“To continue with my famous dessert, in a separate bowl, I crush some shortbread cookies (the kind that have raspberry centers) and mix the crumbs with a little bit of peanut butter and a little bit of syrup, then place it over the chocolate icing. I throw some Banana Wheels over that, then another layer of the shortbread cookie crumb/peanut butter mix; and an additional layer of chocolate icing. All this is topped off with melted Milky Way bars, and peanuts sprinkled for a little crunch. I love caramel (in the Milky Way bars). Caramel is my signature when creating dessert recipes. I made this for the men this past Thanksgiving, and they absolutely loved it”!
“It is my pleasure to serve my friends and bring them a little joy on the holidays. I’ve been hounded for orders from all group segments: Whites, Blacks, Natives, Asians. LOL! They all want one of my pies”.
Who said that a good feast and a sweet pie can’t unify the most unlikely group of incarcerated men? Bravo, Rogelio!
I truly hope you enjoyed Rogelio’s recipes. Wishing you all a most blessed Christmas and upcoming New Year 2022.
Leslie
——
Jpg attached
Vintage MCM Holiday Cheer Card